When Your World Stops But The Show Must Go On!
My Brother Errol and I at the Inner Guru Retreat 2012
Not much more than a month ago, my big brother passed away. Writing these words feels surreal, like they belong to someone else’s story, but they are my reality. This has been one of the hardest times in my life, a chapter filled with pain, confusion, and of course deep loss.
Now just a few days back from a family holiday which gave me time to reflect on how things have changed for me. This wasn't my first encounter with grief. In 2020, I lost my dad, and a year ago, my uncle—who was like another big brother to me. But even in this challenging time, I’ve found something unexpected: clarity. Grieving, bereavement, and the heaviness of loss are not just solitary burdens to carry; they are shared experiences, they are human and universal experiences.
Yet, there’s something powerful about vulnerability that comes when faced with the fragility of life, in my case losing a brother in some ways feels like a gift. I don’t need permission or have to justify how I feel, even when down or negative. These times are opportunities for deep reflections for me and prioritising what’s important in my life (as well as what is not). I feel free from relationships, work, communities that I once felt beholden to, they just don’t have the same hold over me.
I don’t have all the answers—I’m still very much in the process, still finding my way. I don't know how long this will take. Grief isn’t something that fits neatly into a few days off work; it’s a journey, and it’s okay if it takes time.
What I do know is that I’m incredibly blessed by the love and support of my community and family. They have shown me that even when you feel like you’re lost, there are guiding lights illuminating the way back to your village. Their kindness has been a lifeline, reminding me that while grief is deeply personal, it’s also a collective process. We heal together, we grieve together, and we grow together.
I didn’t want to write this but I felt it was important—opening up about my grief is difficult and yet as I write this I notice it’s also strangely liberating. Thanks to everyone who has reached out, those wondering how I’ve been, this is where I am. Maybe it will make our conversations a little easier, less heavy with unspoken questions. Now you know, and if you don’t hear from me for a while, please understand that I’m taking the time I need.
This journey through grief is teaching me that even when my world feels like it’s stopped, life continues. It’s not about moving on—it’s about moving forward, carrying the love and memories of Errol with me. He is part of who I am, and his impact on my life, our lives is something that endures and this is why the show must go on.
Although I wish I could offer some profound wisdom on how to navigate loss without experiencing grief or making it painless, unfortunately, I am unable to do so. Even if I had the ability, I'm uncertain if I would, as how else can we come to terms with the loss of someone we deeply cherish?
The Inner Guru Retreat - October 2024
I'm happy to announce that I have found a new venue for the Inner Guru retreat in October 2024 (8th - 17th).
What's included
Yoga - Mental and Physical re-balancing - re-connecting our body and mind as a complete system
Meditation - generating deep relaxation and inner Peace - a natural way for stress management
Fasting - resting your internal organs allowing them to repair and be rejuvenated
Cleansing Detox - cleansing your body of waste, parasites and toxins supporting the re-generation of new Healthy cells
Prices from £1,250
Price includes Accommodation, Transfers in Thailand, 3.5 Cleansing Detox, Detox, drinks, supplements, Exercises (Yoga, meditation, etc), coaching in workshops.
Flights not included in price.
Additional Extras (not included in the price)
Massages, meals, therapeutic and beauty treatments; one-to-one coaching sessions,
If you'd like to learn more, let me know by sending a message with "Inner guru" as the subject for advanced notice of dates, costs and if you have any questions.
Click here for full details
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